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Consent

Consent is being OK with something. It is an essential element of sex - without consent, it is sexual assault or rape. It is essential to make sure, before and during sex, that all partners give their consent.

Illustration of the 5 pillars of consent: Freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic and specific.

To be sure to get true consent, it has to be based on five fundamental pillars. Consent must be:

  • Freely given: the consent is given without constraint (threats, manipulation, pressure, etc.). Insisting or negotiating with one's partner to get their consent means it is not freely given.
  • Reversible: consent is not definitive, it can be taken away even during sex.
  • Informed: the person consenting must have all the information they need and understand them to give their consent. If their partner lies to them or hides information, the consent is not genuine. It is important for the partners to agree honestly and explicitly to the acts they will perform, if they will use a condom, and all other important aspects.
  • Enthusiastic: the "yes" must be sincere, a complete yes that can be expressed in different ways, verbally or non-verbally. Silence is not consent.
  • Specific: consent is only valid for a specific situation. A person can give their consent for one act but not for another. Also, having given consent for something in the past does not mean that the consent is still valid in the future.

A yes is good like FRIES : Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific.